Adrienne

[Steffi]

Guiding Adrienne

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Thema

[Steffi]

Dear Adrienne!
I didn’t realize you had no income. So let’s do it without a contribution. And you keep coming to the Open Fetter Group once a month. Would that be ok?
What do you teach?

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi

Thank you very much. That would be awesome! I teach Hungarian to foreigners and English to Hungarians. I was a teacher before my son was born, and now that he’s 14, I have started teaching again, giving free lessons. However, one of my students recently offered to pay.

I have been reading Gateless Gatecrashers and working with the questions. Everything is so clear and obvious. The mind has never been so quiet.

Adrienne

[Steffi]

Dear Adrienne!

I am learning English on a platform called Preply. Do you know it? Maybe this is something that could work for you: https://preply.com/en/teach

Okay, let’s start from scratch. I think this will work best for me and you 🙂

## Are you ready?
– Are you ready to make the inquiry into self illusion a top priority?
– Are you ready to write to me daily about your inquiry?
– Are you ready to put your current practice (meditations, satsangs, esoteric practices, nonduality talks, dharma, sangha, etc.) on hold for the time of the inquiry?
– Are you ready to put aside all *spiritual* books, videos and audios for the time of the inquiry?
– Are you ready to fully engage in the inquiry of your own experience?
– Are you ready not to abandon the process you have begun, even if unpleasant feelings arise?
– Are you ready to question all your beliefs and preconceptions about awakening?
– Are you ready to be 100% honest with yourself?

## Process

**Very important: You should have time for the inquiry. It should (be able to) be your #1 priority **

Regarding the process, I suggest that you take at least one hour every day for the inquiry. It doesn’t have to be all at once. You can integrate the inquiry into your daily routine. This usually works best. Checking again and again, in between. While going for a walk, waiting in the checkout queue, during your lunch break, looking out of the window…

Please put aside all *spiritual* books, videos and audios for the time being. They will not help you. You will only clarify in your own direct experience the question of why we call a self our own.

Please do not participate in any satsangs, meditations, nonduality talks, spiritual or esoteric workshops or seminars, online meetings, etc. during your time here. Let your spiritual/Buddhist/or similar practice rest. Concentrate fully on this inquiry.

I will not teach you anything. I will ask questions and you look into your own experience for the answer. That is your task! It is important to base your answer on direct experience, not on thoughts, conclusions or assumptions. You want to see the truth directly.

Please be 100% honest. Anything else is useless. There are no right and wrong answers.

When you have found the answer, write it to me. If you have an intermediate result, write to me. If you get stuck, write to me too. **Daily**

I’m on from Monday to Thursday and usually reply every day. If I can’t do it myself, you can just do the exercises again.

At the weekend it’s family time and I’m not usually here.

I am happy to be able to guide you.

[Adrienne]

Dear Steffi

I am so grateful for your help. It is so kind and generous of you! Thank you.
Yes, I am ready to make this my top priority. In fact, it has been my top priority for two years.
Yes, I will write to you daily.
I haven’t been reading much lately, only Christiane’s book and Gateless Gatecrashers. I will put all books aside.
I haven’t been watching many videos on spirituality because I don’t find them interesting any more. I won’t watch any more.
I don’t go to any satsangs. I am not a member of any group any more.
The only practice I have is meditation. It feels so nice to meditate. Are you asking me to stop meditating?

[Adrienne]

I will not abandon the inquiry, even if it feels unpleasant.
I am ready to question all my beliefs and be 100% honest.
I will concentrate fully on my inquiry.
Something seems to be happening. There is clear seeing that the I is just a label, just a character in a story. The mind is very quiet. Thoughts are usually teaching related or self-inquiry. There are some self-referential thoughts, but they are immediately questioned by other thoughts. There is somehow no more frustration.

Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Dear Steffi

This is my Friday entry.
Self-inquiry happened in every free moment. The question that was found most intriguing was “Is there a me separate from what’s happening?” It is obvious that there is only a continuos flow of sensations. Seeing, hearing, smelling, body sensations, thoughts. Even thoughts are sensations too. Even the I-thought is just part of this continuous flow of sensations. Is there an observer separate from this flow? No, because the observer is just a thought, which is just part of the flow. There is nothing outside the flow. Everything is either a sight, a noise, a smell, a touch, a taste, other body sensations, or thoughts. There is nothing else.
There is a thought that says, “But I still feel separate”. This “I”, however, doesn’t exist. It is only a thought. How could a thought feel anything?
There was no frustration today. On the other hand, there is still reactivity – getting irritated. Automatic reaction of the body to certain stimuli, like my son shouting loudly close to me. There is a thought saying, “I wonder if reactivity will ever stop”.

Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi

When is the next Open Fetter meeting, please?

Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi

Saturday entry.
Today the main questions were: Is there anything else apart from experiencing? Is the body experiencing or is it experienced?
There is nothing apart from experiencing. The body is experiencing and the body is experienced. When the body looks at the body, the body is both experiencing and is experienced.
Is there anything separate from what is? No. The body is also what is. Thoughts about the I are also what is. Is there anything not okay with what is? Everything is okay now. The mind is quiet. Self-referential thoughts are dying. Frustration has disappeared. Everything is calm and peaceful now.
Every morning, when I woke up, there used to be this intense feeling of something being deeply wrong. It was always just a brief but intense experience. This morning there was no such experience. Is something changing? We’ll see.

Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi

Sunday entry.
Is there any separation from this moment’s experience?
How could there be any separation from this moment’s experience? All there is is this moment’s experience.
Is the body experiencing? It cannot be known. The body is experienced, but is it experiencing? Do the eyes see? Do the ears hear? How are we to know? There is this picture in front of the body. With eyes closed, the picture disappears.
What is separate from what? Is there an I separate from what is? There is no I, but there is a body. The body seems to be separate. although it wouldn’t be able to survive without its environment.
What can be known at all? Who wants to know? There is a constant flow of sensations – does it matter if it is real or not?

Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi

Monday entry.
I think what’s happening here is that the mind has given up. It’s not trying to figure this out any more. It’s not throwing tantrums any more, either, in the form of frustration. It has sort of resigned to the situation – that there is nothing to do, nothing to understand, and no-one to understand. Resigned to the fact that there is no shift. That there is only silence. Accepted the fact that the one who was hoping for a shift doesn’t exist. It still feels like it is the seeker that is giving up. Everything is getting more quiet. Maybe surrender is the right word.
Adrienne

[Steffi]

Dear Adrienne!

Thank you for agreeing.

Are you asking me to stop meditating?

You don’t have to stop meditating, but maybe you will do this meditation from now on?

When you enquire into the 10 fetters that prevent the awakened state from being the ‘normal’ state, it is very helpful to practise again and again the method of finding out whether something is actually experienced or it is just made up.

This method comes from the shortest instruction given by the Buddha to a seeker. The seeker, a man from Bahiya, grasped it immediately.

And this is what the Buddha said.

### The Bahiya Sutta

Bahiya, you will realise:
> In the seen, there will simply be the seen.
In the heard there will simply be the heard
In the thought there will simply be the thought
In the recognised there will be simply the recognised;
In all this you will not be seen, heard, thought or recognised.
If you are not seen, heard, thought or recognised, you are not there.
If You are not there, You do not exist, there or elsewhere.
This is the end of suffering.

### Meditation

Sit comfortably and upright.
On a chair, or on the floor.

Breathe deeply a few times.

Feel the pressure of the seat, the feet on the floor.
Feel the sensations of the moving breath.
Do you feel it is too fast or too shallow, nice and deep and calm?

Whatever it is, let it be as it is. Everything is allowed to be as it is.

What thoughts are there?
Let them wander freely and notice what they are about.
All thoughts are allowed.
Breathe gently and let the thoughts be there, all of them.

Feel the sensations that follow the thoughts.
And notice the thoughts that follow the sensations.

What is your mood, how do you feel?
All feelings are allowed, without making them bigger or smaller.
Pay attention to the thought comments, they are also allowed.
If you want the thoughts to disappear, notice that too.

Listen to the sounds that are there.
Traffic, people, maybe music.
Pay attention to the names and the comments of the thoughts.
Maybe you like the sounds or not. Maybe there is resistance to the traffic noise.

Everything can be as it is.

Then open your eyes and just see what is there. What colours? What lines? Turn your head slowly back and forth.

Close your eyes again and go to the next sense.

Smell what you can smell right now.

Then taste what you can taste right now.

Let everything simply be as it is.

Now feel the sensations of the moving breath again and stay with it as long as you like.

This is the life your body is going through. Everything else is a thought story.

Then take a deep breath and end the meditation.

[Steffi]

Thank you for writing to me in the last few days about your request. The more you write, the more you help me.

I think what’s happening here is that the mind has given up. It’s not trying to figure this out any more. It’s not throwing tantrums any more, either, in the form of frustration. It has sort of resigned to the situation – that there is nothing to do, nothing to understand, and no-one to understand. Resigned to the fact that there is no shift. That there is only silence. Accepted the fact that the one who was hoping for a shift doesn’t exist. It still feels like it is the seeker that is giving up. Everything is getting more quiet. Maybe surrender is the right word.

Yes, it’s very good that the mind has given up. That it has resigned itself to the situation that there is nothing for him to do in this search for the self. The self illusion is created by thoughts and therefore thoughts or the mind will not be able to dissolve this illusion.

I now ask you a question every day. Please only deal with this one question and answer as soon as you have a solution, an answer or an intermediate state.

What we are doing here is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, seperate, inherent ‘self’ – what do you understand by this?

🙂 Steffi

[Adrienne]

Hi Steffi,

Tuesday entry.
There is no real, separate, inherent self.
To me it means that the I of the thoughts that appear in the mind is just an imaginary character in the many stories the mind creates around this figure. This imaginary I controls the body, the mind, and experiences life. In reality, there is no such entity. The body lives, acts, thinks and experiences on its own. It doesn’t need a manager at all. The body is the hardware, the brain programme is the software. There is no need for a third thing – a controller. Everything happens without the I – it doesn’t matter what thoughts say. The body is part of nature, belongs to the Earth, to the ecosystem, like a rabbit or a lion does. The body seems to be experiencing a constant flow of sensations, while attention is usually looking at thoughts, which seem more important, and which usually have nothing to do with what is happening now.
Adrienne

[Autor]

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