Verfasste Forenbeiträge
- Antworten
As the mind gets more and more quiet, the hitherto unnoticed selfing thoughts become more and more visible. There seems to be more energy in the mind, shedding its light onto more and more dark areas, driving out all unquestioned, automatic thinking.
Adrienne
There is a strong sense of self in the first, automatic, „unnoticed“ mind, but there is absolutely no sense of self in the second, alert mind. Earlier, when I was asking myself „Is there a sense of self?“, there was none because this question can only be asked from the second mind. Is the only way forward noticing again and again when the first mind is selfing and questioning it again and again until it sees that the self is an illusion?
Adrienne
Hi Steffi
Nothing really happened. I just really wanted to find the sense of self. What the hell is it? Then it was obvious.
It seems like it is automatic, habitual thinking. As if by a machine, the stories are produced in quick succession on a conveyor belt and appear under the radar, so to speak. Then, wait a minute!! Who is this I person??? It’s a bit like having a split mind. One – unconscious, automatic, habitual, chattering, and the other – alert, questioning, and quiet. It seems like awakening is about awakening and strengthening this second mind, to make it stronger than the first mind.
I will continue to observe the sense of self. Does it have a body component? Or a feeling component? My guess is that when I am triggered, the body sensations and the feeling component are there, but when everything is calm, it’s only thoughts.
AdrienneHi Steffi
I think I finally found the sense of self. It’s the automatic and unquestioned belief that I am talking in the head, that I am moving the body, and that everything is happening to me.
I often catch myself believing that I am the thinker, the doer and the experiencer. But when I notice it, I no longer believe it. There is a sense of self while it is automatic, unconscious, unquestioned.
What is the best way forward?Adrienne
Hi Steffi
Is there a sense of self? The mind refuses to understand this question. What is the sense of self? What is it? Is it me writing this? What does this question mean? What’s going on? Am I just not honest here? Am I lying to myself? Am I denying the sense of self? I can’t put my finger on this sense of self. There is a body that is alive. There are sensations and thoughts. But where is the sense of me?
Please help.
Adrienne
Hi Steffi
I’m sorry about your uncle. Please accept my condolences.
Yes, I will take a break.
December 9 is fine with me. Is this the same group? How do I join? What about the November open fetter group?Adrienne
Hi Steffi
Self-inquiry seems to have stopped. Meditation and mindfulness practice still continues.
AdrienneHi Steffi
Something moves attention back again and again to the silence, away from the thoughts.
AdrienneHi Steffi
It’s all about the realisation that you can’t believe thoughts. It’s awakening from the world of thoughts.
AdrienneHi Steffi
When I go back to thoughts (as you asked) to see the expectations, I find frustration, desperation and insomnia.
I’m wondering, who goes back to thoughts? Who decides to investigate something? Who allows body sensations to be? And who wants to know? Who wants to wake up?
AdrienneHi Steffi
Yes, there are expectations. The me is expecting and hoping for an energetic shift. It wants to get on with the fetter work and get it all done quickly.
Frustration is rising up in the body again. It is felt and accepted. It’s 3:18 am and the body can’t sleep. Again. As if to prove that there is no progression. The me desperately wants to see progression.
AdrienneHi Steffi
Expectations. The process of awakening seems to be happening on its own. What thoughts are saying at this moment is that things are progressing well and everything is on track. All progression is just an illusion though. There is no seeker here on a path. Things seem to be changing, however. The mind is getting quieter, the mood is getting more even, the sleep is better. This „process“ will probably continue – says a thought. Who knows where. It’s all unexplored territory.
Thoughts are saying that there actually was a shift when after a Vince session the trauma and the me were let go of. That’s when the mind fell silent (a few months ago).
It seems like in my case awakening is taking the form of a series of mini shifts.
As irritation and anger seem to be such an important issue at the moment, I thought it’s time to begin to ask if there is any reason to react angrily. What do you think?
AdrienneHi Steffi
I haven’t worked with another guide for months and I am not working on anything they suggested.
Okay, I will write down my expectations and observe when the sense of self arises.
What I have noticed is that anger and irritation is here more intesely than before. It is usually connected with my son, who drives me crazy with his shouting. That seems to be a good time to investage the sense of self.
Adrienne
